a sub already??

Well.... believe it or not I was actually hoping not to have to get a substitute tomorrow. I guess I'm a little more tired from these first few weeks than my body would like for me to be. So Saturday it decided it wanted to be sick to force me to slow down. Thanks. :) Therefore, tomorrow will be my first day to have a substitute this year. Let's pray my kids are still in the 'new year still trying to behave' stage. But, I must say even though I'm exhausted, it's been well worth it. I spent this weekend at a hunting cabin two hours away with a little over 20 senior highers (and one bathroom) for our fall retreat. It was fantastic! Again, I love working with teenagers. I mean, what's not to love about team building games, sleeping on an air mattress that deflates in the middle of the night, wiffle ball and kickball games, and of course capture the flag as soon as it gets dark enough to see nothing but the glow stick across the way. Another thing I absolutely love about retreats is forcing myself to be quiet. It's amazing to me how much God loves me. And I don't mean that He just loves me, of course He loves all of you too. I just stand completely amazed that I am so unworthy of His love yet He still chooses to lavish it on me. Who am I to deserve that kind of perfect love? We had quiet times of prayer on our own several times during the weekend. On Saturday night after reading scripture our reading told us to think about our dark pit in life. The area of our life, whether it be an event, a relationship, a struggle, or whatever it may be for us. As we talked about it in small groups some mentioned visualizing themselves in a new imaginary place. I, as soon as I read what it was asking us to do, immediately saw the vision in my mind of the literal place of laying on my bathroom floor in my apartment in college, tears rolling down my face, crying out to God. I'll be honest, it sure hurt to even go back to that place in my mind. That place of confusion and hurt. But, as I continued reading a new vision came in. It told us to now imagine the same place, but now see God there with you. He is isn't standing outside of the pit asking for you to let him pick you up and take you out, or waiting for you to reach your hand up to Him for help. He wasn't standing at the bathroom door waiting for me to get up and come out to Him. No, He was there on the floor holding me and comforting me. Wow. How awesome is that? He comes to our deepest pit. He is with us when we feel noone else is there. It was such an incredible scene for me to see. Maybe because I tend to be a dreamer, a visual person or learner. But, it really made me see how blessed I am to have a God that loves me so much to meet me not just wait for me. I'll be honest, that vision is not somewhere I like to think about it, it is something I have tried to put out of my mind for years. But, I am so thankful that now that vision is different. I am not alone. God is holding me. You are not alone. God is holding you. I hope that you feel Him holding you today and that you see Him with you right where you are. Goodnight. Here's to cold medicine, tissues, and sleep!